Sigh.
I used to think, that life was simple. At least the oultine anyway. I would graduate high school, go to college, get my undergrad in English...get into Bolt Law, and go on to fight for lives. Somewhere along the way, I would get married, buy a house, and have a dog.
I'm thinking the non-traditional route is one I chose.
Somehow, I didn't attend a state school. Somehow, my long term boyfriend of 4.5 years and I didn't make it last...and somehow I decided it would be a good choice to run away 2,300 miles from home, to Chicago...the big city...and try to make it.
Make what?
I have a good, stable job. I live in a high rise downtown. I have a ton of friends. I have virtually no responsibility, aside from ensuring my rent check gets turned in each month. What MORE did I need to make?
I don't know. I really need to prove something though.
Sigh.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
And I need an attitude adjustment.
Haha...it's been a while. Clearly...I suck at blogging. Oh well...not really a trait I ever ardently wanted to develop anyway.
Some thoughts:
I feel like I am on the brink of discovering some very interesting things about myself...but it almost seems as if I have been reaching through the dark towards a light source that I am really working hard to get to, only to discover the answer on how to get there was so simple and easy to attain all along. Does that even make any sense? Probably not. Fail.
But seriously...I guess I am just realizing a lot of times, things are easier than they appear.
There is just so much to learn.
Not to say I haven't already soaked up a lot of collective data about myself lately...I have just been having some really inspiring conversations with people that have allowed myself to look at things in other light, and to broaden my future options. I think one of the most interesting self discoveries I have made as of late, has been that I am not a predetermined substance; rather: by being selective about who I spend my time with, what activities I participate in, what music I listen to, and what I fill my thoughts with...I am defining myself little by little. Really, a common conept, but one that I am just beginning to grasp fully.
I am getting to old to play reindeer games, in essence.
Some thoughts:
I feel like I am on the brink of discovering some very interesting things about myself...but it almost seems as if I have been reaching through the dark towards a light source that I am really working hard to get to, only to discover the answer on how to get there was so simple and easy to attain all along. Does that even make any sense? Probably not. Fail.
But seriously...I guess I am just realizing a lot of times, things are easier than they appear.
There is just so much to learn.
Not to say I haven't already soaked up a lot of collective data about myself lately...I have just been having some really inspiring conversations with people that have allowed myself to look at things in other light, and to broaden my future options. I think one of the most interesting self discoveries I have made as of late, has been that I am not a predetermined substance; rather: by being selective about who I spend my time with, what activities I participate in, what music I listen to, and what I fill my thoughts with...I am defining myself little by little. Really, a common conept, but one that I am just beginning to grasp fully.
I am getting to old to play reindeer games, in essence.
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